


firesmoke

by na_scathach



Series: valgrace week 2020 [3]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: ????angsty-wangsty poetic bulshit, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Not Canon Compliant - The Trials of Apollo, Substance Abuse, god this is pretentious, jason Grace being the simp in valgrace for once
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:47:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25044874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/na_scathach/pseuds/na_scathach
Summary: Explosives have nothing compared to these sparksSo let's fall apartAnd then lie with me, breathing in the den of the darkIt's fire smoke
Relationships: Jason Grace/Leo Valdez, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: valgrace week 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1810756
Comments: 9
Kudos: 56
Collections: 2020 Valgrace Week





	firesmoke

**Author's Note:**

> well yurt lads. day three. hngjhnh?!
> 
> anyways. this one is a bit heavier than the previous two. there is mentions of previous opioid abuse issues with one character and current issues with alcoholism with another character. if that might be difficult for you to read, i implore you to skip this one! i won't be hurt at all. your mental health matters more than some fanfiction. 
> 
> if you're still comfortable reading this, know that this acted as a kinda vent fic for me as well, with my own issues around alcohol. but! onwards! title and synopsis both come from Kate Tempest's poem (surprise surprise) firesmoke. which. is so gay and soft.

_ Explosives have nothing compared to these sparks _

_ So let's fall apart _

_ And then lie with me, breathing in the den of the dark _

_ It's fire smoke _

* * *

Taking everything about their lives into account, Percy and Annabeth’s wedding goes off without a hitch. 

Sure, there is some minor scuffle involving the bridal party going missing and returning just in time for Annabeth to sprint up the aisle with a torn dress and her hair askew. Later explained by a sudden and inappropriate quest by Athena in a last-ditch attempt to drive her favorite daughter away from Percy. Annabeth’s bridesmaids, Thalia, Clarrise, and Piper (which makes for one of the weirdest bridal parties Jason’s ever seen) all also come back worse for wear and with tangled hair to the beach where they’ve decided to hold the wedding. Apparently Athena  _ needed  _ her Aegis back and her  _ favorite  _ daughter  _ had _ to go get it back. Thankfully they made it to the beach with only minimal injuries and only 30 minutes late. 

Percy, in turn, had forgotten his suit, forgotten the  _ rings,  _ had a panic attack on the car-ride in, got cold-feet, and jumped into the ocean. His man-of-honor, Grover, had calmed him down long enough to drag him out of the Atlantic, still dry, and guided him to the wedding area. Grover, Nico, and Rachel Elizabeth Dare are his groomsmen, all dressed in dark suits with bright green ties. When the time comes, Jason watches as Annabeth is lead up the aisle by a tall, gaunt man with intense brown eyes and steel-rimmed glasses. Annabeth’s father, he supposes. Frederick. 

Annabeth’s dress is white, plain in some ways. It lacks sleeves, showing off Annabeth’s tan and muscled arms, while her upper-body is wrapped in lace. 

Percy seems worlds away, and at the same time, he seems too present, too grounded and he looks like he’s going to fall over. His dark skin rushes with red and Grover grips his arm, to keep him standing. Annabeth’s bridesmaids wear deep grey dresses, while his sister is wearing a tight grey suit. Her blonde roots are showing and she still looks 16. Jason  _ aches _ looking at her because he’s never truly had his sister. She was gone before he could ever have her and her youthful face makes him  _ burn _ .

The ceremony itself is loud and  _ fun,  _ in a way Jason thought weddings impossible. Jason doesn’t know if Apollo is legally able to marry them, but he seems determined to do it, and Jason has a nagging feeling that marriage certificates for Annabeth and Percy Jackson will show up magically by the end of the night. The vows are both emotional and funny and Jason lets himself wonder, maybe, maybe, maybe-

The whole thing passes in a blur for Jason. His suit is stuffy and the hot sun beats down on his back and the gentle waves crash up against the sand a few paces away. The weather, curtesy of Poseidon, is clear and hot, the ocean a clear, bright blue. It’s gorgeous, picturesque even and Jason is so happy, not because of the weather, though the mutual cooperation of his Father and Uncle does make him feel warm, but because his friends have found peace. In demigod life, peace is happiness. Happiness is a lack of war or death, without weapons or monsters. 

Percy and Annabeth deserve that. 

They deserve all mortal life can offer. They deserve a comfortable life, filled with soft peace, and even softer love. 

The ceremony finished quickly. 

The reception is held right there on the beach. There is a gazebo and tent, with a bar and a dancefloor and fairy lights. It’s...homely. Soft and untraditional and still vaguely classy. Annabeth’s input he assumes is the only thing that stopped this from being a potluck and a bonfire. Which didn’t sound so bad to Jason? If you had someone you loved, what did it matter if it was classy or expensive? 

Maybe one day Jason could have this? 

Maybe one day he could be happy with what he had. 

Maybe one day Jason could stop feeling so  _ empty _

Jason thinks maybe, maybe, maybe-

“Hey,” a voice says beside him and Jason snaps out of his reminiscing. It’s dark now. The ocean is grey with the light of the full moon and the sea-foam crashes merrily against the sand. The wedding itself is far behind Jason and here he can only just hear it, as the light wards off the darkness like a lighthouse, but it doesn’t reach here. Jason doubts anyone even knows he’s here. The air is salty and cold, but not cold enough for Jason to go find his jacket. He digs his bare feet into the rough sand. 

Jason couldn’t handle the wedding, couldn’t handle seeing how far everyone else had come while Jason stayed- stationary. Still. So he escaped and walked for what felt like hours down the beach, following the moon and the shoreline. 

Leo only comes up to his shoulder. 

It’s a sore spot for him. His curls only barely brushing the top of Jason’s shoulder, and he’s still fine-boned, too skinny, like he’s always half-starved. Big eyes and curls like a black rosebush. Leo’s powers are finicky like that. They eat and consume and Leo never eats enough for his fire. So it eats him up instead. His skin shifts even now, with sparks of flames under his dark skin. 

Jason thinks maybe, maybe, maybe-

“Hi,” Jason croaks and keeps his eyes fixed on the distant horizon. It’s fuzzy without his glasses, sky, and sea blurring together. 

Sea wind brushes against his skin and Jason can’t feel it. Whiskey and coke serve as a good insulator, he finds. 

“You okay? Somethin’ up?” Leo asks, his voice edged with a drink. Not like Jason, but still, to hear Leo’s Mid-Atlantic accent edged with something as intimate as a southern drawl makes Jason dizzy with it. He doesn’t know what to call  _ It  _ but  _ It  _ has been haunting him since Leo Valdez climbed atop a dragon and went to war so Jason wouldn’t have to. “You seem...outta it,” and Jason agrees. Alcohol makes Jason Numb. Indifferent. Like he’s wearing a Jason-coloured suit and the real him is tucked away somewhere safe. 

Jason shrugs. “Life. Bad whiskey? Don’t know really” and Leo laughs, open and airy. Something true and carefree. Jason turns his head away from the blurred horizon to Leo’s face. 

Leo is older now. They all are, and they all show it. Leo’s lost any traces of baby-fat and left himself looking sharp, all carved edges and big eyes filled with gasoline and smoke. Not fire. That kind of fire left Leo long before Jason stumbled across him. His skin is dark, but his freckles are disappearing. England has done nothing for him. Leo is a child of heat and sun, and something as cold and grey as England is hurting him. 

Leo, like everyone Jason knows nowadays, looks tired.  _ Hungry.  _ Looking for something, anything to fill up the spaces inside him. 

Jason still hasn’t found it. He’s looked in women, men, school, work, dumb hobbies that he’s already forgotten about, and even the bottom of a bottle. 

But he knows Leo hasn’t found it either. All that search lead to was an empty pill bottle and several stints in rehab. It’s why Jason got sober in the first place. He couldn’t help Leo if he was drunk and Leo  _ needed  _ help, more than Jason did because if Jason found him overdosing one more time he’d go  _ insane- _

“You fallen off the wagon?” Leo asks him, quietly, so quiet Jason can barely hear it over the dull thrum of the wedding and the waves. Leo was the only one who knew about how Jason was truly his mother’s son. In turn, Jason was the only one who knew why Leo couldn’t take painkillers anymore.

Shame burns in his chest. “Yeah,” he swallows, “guess I have”. 

Leo is a line of warmth as he moves closer to Jason. 

Jason knew replacing one addiction with another was a bad idea. He’d fall too fast, too quick and when Leo moved for space, Jason would fall on his face. But. It bubbles in his chest, making his teeth feel like liquid quicksilver. He’s too much of a coward to call It by Its name, so he leaves It nameless. 

It would end in flames, he knows. He knows, but-

maybe, maybe, maybe-

Leo’s wearing a tight-fitting black suit, his jacket abandoned, but his waist-coat hugs his chest and waist. His white shirtsleeves are pulled up to his elbow and he's wearing red converse. He’s gorgeous. He’s deadly and beautiful and he doesn’t even know it. His dark curls brush pierced ears and his nose-stud glints silver in the moonlight. 

Jason would press his assurances that Leo was gorgeous onto Leo’s skin if he could, tattoo his thoughts onto Leo’s eyes until Leo believed him. Jason would press kisses onto Leo’s lips if he let him, love him enough that he could never doubt himself again. 

Jason would rebel against the gods themselves if it brought Leo joy and maybe that’s why he hasn’t done anything yet. Love like that makes you do foolish things. 

Leo sighs loudly, starling Jason out of his thoughts. He runs long fingers through his hair and his coal-dark eyes wander the horizon. “Shit, Jace, you coulda said somethin’. Woulda left Oxford ina heartbeat if you said you were havin’...” he scrunches up his face, lips pulling into a thin line, “problems, yanno?” 

Jason nods reluctantly. “I know. I didn’t want to pull you away from your work, Leo. Your-”

Leo pinches the skin of Jason’s exposed forearm and Jason yelps, almost falling onto his ass. “Shuttup, asshat. My students can deal without me for a few weeks. I care more about you than I do those assholes, anyway”

Jason smiles down at Leo. He could be sweet, in his own way. “Thank you, but, it’s not like you’re a 100% sober either"

Leo frowns up at him and Jason represses the urge to kiss it away. “Vodka and Percocet and two different things, Grace”

Jason snorts, ignoring Leo’s harsh look. “Not different enough, though”

Leo shifts on his feet, crossing his arms. Like Jason, the sleeves are pulled up, exposing Leo’s delicate tattoos. A flower, yellow bells, runs down the length of his right inner forearm, covering the years old, thin, straight scars. A symmetrical, pleasing piece runs down his outer left forearm.

Jason’s own brand thrums. 

“So we both fucked up. Nice. I guess I’ll have to stick around for a while while we both get fixed up, yeah?” Leo says, his dark eyes searching Jason’s face. Shit, Jason could die looking into Leo’s eyes and die happy.

Jason hums noncommittedly, leaning into Leo’s warmth slightly. He can blame it on the drink if Leo asks him why. 

“I’m serious, Jay. You helped me when I was a fuckin’ idiot,” and Jason bites his lip, to quell the admonishment that Leo was never an idiot, couldn’t be an idiot. Idiots didn’t get doctorates in physics and teach part-time in Oxford. Leo was many things, an idiot was not one of them. “So I gotta help you. Equivalent Exchange, baby”

Jason will pretend the way he shivers is because of the sea-wind. 

“Okay,” Jason relents. If Leo moves back to New York, it’s not like he couldn’t get work. Leo Valdez will never be short of work, not while his genius still keeps the scientific community in a trance. Hell, if Leo gets work back at Ames, Jason could move out West with him-

Jason thinks maybe, maybe, maybe-

The conversation lulls back into a comfortable silence. That’s another thing that’s changed about Leo, in the 10 years since Jason met him. Leo’s learned that he doesn’t have to fill all the spaces up with noise, that if he wants to, he can stay as quiet as he likes, and no one will forget about him. 

Jason thinks that even if he got amnesia today, he wouldn’t be able to forget Leo Valdez.

The silence, which is filled with crashing waves and faint music coming from the wedding, is broken by a  _ click-foosh.  _ A lighter. 

Jason turns his head to watch Leo light his cigarette, the stick held between two cracked lips, while he protected the flame from the wind with a free hand. For a second, the two of them are bathed in orange light, chasing away the blue darkness. The fire welcomes Leo, like an old lover, curling over high cheekbones and a sharp, angular jaw. His skin glows gold, even if just for a fraction of a second, like the fire is seeking shelter inside of Leo’s bones-

Then, as soon as it appears, it’s gone, leaving them in midnight blue and the faint light of the stars above them. Jason can hear the crackle of the cigarette as Leo sucks on it, the ash at the tip flaking off and landing into the sand below them. 

Jason hates them. The smell, mostly. 

Leo takes a long drag, his eyes darting out to the horizon and Jason watches as his lips wrap around the paper, the stick held between two long, nimble fingers. He lifts it up and breaths out, light ashy smoke blowing away suddenly in the wind. The tip glows with embers and Jason’s thankful the wind is blowing the other way. Smoking is one of Leo’s less dangerous addictions, and he’s been smoking longer than either Jason or Piper have known him, so they hardly ever bring it up. 

And, if Jason is being honest with himself, he kinda likes the look on Leo.

“Want one?”

Jason laughs, grinning at Leo, who’s grinning back. Jason’s hatred of cigarettes is a well-known one. “Not in a million fucking years, Valdez”

Leo is pressed against Jason’s side now. “You’re a hardcore alcoholic, but cigarettes are where you draw the line? Wow,  _ freak _ ”

Jason laughs so hard he has to hide his face behind his hands, the smell of the smoke already sticking to his clothes. Jason lets himself wonder if Leo would taste like smoke if Jason kissed him. Would he taste like nicotine and smoke, mixed with Jack Daniels? If Jason dragged his lips down Leo’s long neck, would he taste the smoke or Leo’s sandalwood cologne? 

Jason thinks, maybe, maybe, maybe-

Jason can blame the heady blush on his face on the drink, right?

Leo is so close. But they’ve danced this before and Jason knows the steps. Back when they were 19 and Jason had broken up with Piper for the last time, and Leo had wrapped himself around Jason, strong arms like brands around his midsection. Back when Leo was 21 and all he could think about was NASA and his next script of oxycontin or percocet, and he was so close that Jason could count his eyelashes, but it didn’t matter, because Leo’s irises were a pinprick dot in a sea of brown. Back when they were 24 and Leo was leaving for England and he smelt like his shower gel in the bustling airport, standing close enough Jason could feel his smoke-warm breath on his cheek. 

Jason thinks maybe, maybe, maybe-

“Why do we keep doing this?”

Jason startles at Leo’s question. He knew, on some level, that Leo knew what they were doing, but he didn’t think Leo would ever  _ ask- _

“I...don’t know,” he croaks, eyes fixated on the horizon. And that’s the thing,  _ he doesn’t know. _ Why can’t he just do it, hold Leo close, and tell him how much he matters to Jason?. “Maybe because you’re Piper’s  _ best _ friend? Maybe because two addicts getting into a relationship sounds like a really bad idea?”

Jason can hear Leo’s heavy intake of breath like he’s tired. Exhausted. Because of Jason, probably. 

“But we weren’t always like this. Back when we were dumb kids. I loved you then.  _ You  _ loved me then. What stopped us?” and Jason hazards a glance at Leo and, Sweet Vesta, he looks lost. Sad. Fucking bittersweet, like he’s already lost Jason. Like Leo knows Jason is a coward, underneath all of Lupa’s training, and Jason will never tell him how much Leo means to him-

“ _ Loved _ makes it sound like I ever stopped loving you,” and this breaks past Jason’s lips before he can stop it, and it rings in the air in the silence.  _ Fear  _ is what stopped Jason. It didn’t feel right, to move on from Piper to Leo, it wasn’t  _ right _ , and Jason’s fatal flaw is duty. To do what was right, what was expected of him. Then it was because Jason didn’t deserve Leo. Leo didn’t deserve to get shackled to a history major with a drinking problem and no idea how to tell him how he really felt. 

Leo is now completely pressed against Jason, his chest expanding and contracting as he breathes. He’s thrown away the cigarette and his lips brush Jason’s skin through his shirt. “Come out to California with me,” he whispers, lips moving against Jason’s shirt, sending electrical sparks up Jason’s spine. “You can teach, I’ll go back to Ames. I have enough to find us an apartment and I’ll even pay for some dumb therapists. Kick this shit permanently. We could be better.  _ Together _ .”

Jason shudders out a breath. “Leo, I-”

Leo is suddenly standing in front of him, the sea behind him, haloing him in the moonlight. The darkness cuts into Leo sharply and his eyes glow like dying embers. “Shut up, Grace. I’m done tip-toeing around, I’m fucking done missing you like a lung while I’m not with you. I’m so,  _ so _ , fucking done watching you get into another shitty relationship while I act like a celibate nun because I can’t imagine loving someone that isn’t you, you sanctimonious piece of fucking shit,” 

Leo looks like fire incarnate. His eyes spark with it, his skin rippling with gold, and Jason can see the way his teeth glow. He looks like he could explode at any moment and Jason wouldn’t,  _ couldn’t _ , complain if Leo decided to take Jason with him. “Make up your fucking mind, Grace,” Leo chokes out, his hands gripping Jason’s biceps, his eyes shiny, “because I can’t keep doing this”.

Jason thinks, maybe, maybe, ma-

Jason stops thinking.

He  _ does _ taste like smoke and Jack Daniels and sweet coke, but he also tastes like  _ Leo.  _ He tastes like warmth and fire and it sparks down Jason’s marrow, chasing away any remnants of cold. Leo makes a noise against him and Jason’s holding his face with his hands, cupping his jaw. It’s just a press of lips against lips, but-

Jason’s head is dizzy with it. 

He pulls back, still holding Leo’s face. He looks dazed, his eyes half-lidded, and lips parted, his breath warm on Jason’s face. Jason thinks, shit, shit, he did this wrong, didn’t he? He opens up his mouth to apologize, sky-blue eyes wide, but-

Leo shifts forward onto the balls of his feet, pulling Jason closer by his hips and he kisses Jason.  _ Back _ . His hands are like brands on Jason’s hips and Jason curls his fingers against Leo’s skin, feeling his heat between his hands. 

Leo moves against him, soft, dry lips catching until Leo opens his mouth and Jason licks inside, tasting him. Their tongues glide together, soft skin and against soft skin, slick and wet and Jason is  _ burning _ . The sensation of it is sending electrical impulses down Jason’s veins and into his heart, making it skip every second beat. Is this what it feels like to be electrocuted? To die with lightning in your veins? 

Leo feels so solid beneath him. Soft, warm mouth, his sweet breath, hot skin and his chest presses against Jason and so do his hips-

Jason was always afraid that if he didn’t remember Leo, that if he didn’t see him every day, that Leo would simply fall into smoke. Like if Jason tried to hold him, his hands would brush through him. 

But Leo is solid. Warm. 

Leo tilts his head, looking for a better angle to take away Jason’s breath. He kisses like it’s a puzzle, single-minded intensity, and careless curiosity. Jason’s chest is heaving but he can’t care, because Leo, Leo,  _ Leo- _

Jason buries his fingers in Leo’s curls, feeling the soft hair against his numb skin. He tugs gently and Leo gasps against him and, Sweet Gods, how did anyone ever kiss Leo and not go back to him? 

Leo, now bored with Jason’s mouth, moves on. He tilts Jason’s head back, his hot mouth and clever tongue attacking Jason’s pale neck. Teeth nibbling on the underside of Jason’s jaw and Jason needs more, can’t live without it now and Jason’s never had opioids, that was always Leo’s thing, but if it felt like this then Jason understands a little better. His breath leaves him in a moan as Leo marks him, his hands on the bare skin of Jason’s abdomen, fingers skittering over Jason’s hipbones, bitten nails dragging across sensitive skin. Lightning pools in Jason’s stomach and he fixes his eyes on the sky above them, stars glittering like broken glass across the sky. 

Jason thinks of all the people who have come before him and thinks _how?_ Leo kissed wholly, completely, as if Jason was an equation or problem Leo needed to solve. He tasted like nectar and the god-blood that ran through both of their veins. He was _Leo_ _Valdez_. If you were lucky enough to catch his constantly-moving gaze, if you were lucky enough to make Leo Valdez stand still for a few seconds, if you were blessed enough to see Leo Valdez in _love_ , in love with _you_ , how could they leave him? How could they hurt him, when kissing him felt like absolution?

“ _ Leo _ ,” Jason breathes, and he gently guides Leo back up to meet his gaze. He feels like a furnace but Jason is a thundercloud covered in pale skin, so he’s used to heat. He presses his forehead against Leo’s, his nose against his, Leo’s stud cold against Jason’s skin. Leo’s grinning. Leo’s got a smile as sharp as his knives and his eyes glitter like they’re soaked in gasoline. 

“Hi,” Leo whispers, still grinning, the sound of water behind them. 

“Hey,” Jason whispers back and joy, pure, bubbling joy crawls an unfamiliar path up Jason’s chest. 

“Always wanted to do that,” Leo tells him, voice still low, rough, and scratchy. He’s standing on the tips of his toes, his arms migrating to wrap around Jason’s neck. Loosely. His eyes are bright and wandering, like the stars he studies, while his dark skin seems darker, possibly with a blush. Jason must be bright red. 

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Jason says, sincerely, pressing his forehead against Leo’s more firmly, like he could push his thoughts into Leo’s brain. Push thoughts of  _ please forgive me  _ and  _ i’m so in love with you that it feels like I’m falling and i don’t want to stop falling- _

Leo laughs, something pure and it seems to surprise even him. “It’s okay, superman. Just don’t do it again. Not gonna wait another 10 years just so I can kiss you again. You ain’t that good, Grace”

Jason pulls him close, close,  _ closer _ , until the smell of nicotine and smoke encircles them both. Bitter and heavy, but it’s something that always reminds Jason of Leo. Their hands have switched, somehow, and Jason rubs circles onto Leo’s sharp hips, dragging his hands up so they settle on his waist, his shirt crinkling with the movement. 

“I’m sorry. Really. I was afraid and-”

Leo silences him with another kiss. Soft and chaste, his clever fingers playing with the short hairs at the nape of Jason’s neck. Jason wonders if he’ll abuse this new-found superpower. Jason wonders if he’ll ever care if Leo shuts up his every thought with a press of his lips. “Shut the fuck up, Jason. You got here eventually. I’m good at waiting, surprisingly enough. Especially for your dumb, white ass,” he shrugs, eyes locked on a star high above them. It’s likely he knows that star’s name. “I’ve waited a lot longer for much dumber shit”

Jason has named  _ It  _ now. Let Its true name fly away on the wind, but It’s still here. A powerful, aching thrum deep in his chest, making his ribs feel too small and his heart too big. He feels like he’s lost all his breath but it’s too good. Leo can have all of Jason’s breath, can have his half-withered heart if he gives nothing but his star-bright eyes and soft lips in return. 

“I love you” 

The wind howls and Jason doesn’t know if that’s his fault or not. Leo laughs, curls blowing everywhere and teeth glinting like a wolf. Leo laughs, but his eyes are so full of-

_ It.  _

It has haunted Jason for so long he can recognize it anywhere, and Leo’s eyes have  _ It  _ too.

“Love you too. Love you so much, you oblivious dumbass”

Fuck the wedding, fuck doing what’s right, Jason’s been unselfish since his mother left him for the wolves, it’s Jason’s turn. It’s Jason’s turn to take, to be filled with joy and happiness, and  _ fuck _ everything else. 

“Want to leave? I’ll call an Uber,”

Jason grins the way Lupa taught him to and Leo snorts, arching a bushy eyebrow. “An uber? Really superman? Do you think Clark Kent got with Louis Lane cause he went home with her in an  _ Uber _ ? I’m high-maintenance, baby”

Jason feels laughter bubble up in his chest and he shakes his head. “Oh, you  _ sure _ are. Also, I’m drunk. I’m not sure it’s a good idea”

Leo huffs, pouting and-

Oh. 

“Please? _por favorcito_ _mi amor?”_

“If we die I’m going to pester you all the way to Elysium”

Leo wraps his arms tighter around Jason, grinning. “I wouldn’t have it any other way,  _ bebe” _

Jason contemplates giving his leave to his friends, telling them he’s leaving and so is Leo, but only in coincidence, he s _ wears _ .  Then Jason remembers he’s being selfish now. That he’s allowed to be a bit of a prick, just this once. 

He pulls Leo close enough that he feels like he could press himself into Leo’s skin, hide in the spaces between Leo’s ribs. The wind picks up, howling around them like wolves, tugging at their clothes, and a laugh bursts out from Leo. 

“Take me home, supes,” Leo whispers, his mouth against the shell of Jason’s ear. 

He stays solid. He does not burst into firesmoke, leaving Jason with nothing but grief and pain and memory. He stays  _ solid _ , he  _ stays.  _ Jason knows that he will have the chance to assure himself later that Leo is solid and real and in love with Jason, but for now, his cologne and the faint stench of cigarettes is enough.    
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is [thelosttrio](https://thelosttrio.tumblr.com/). come shout at me :)


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